FIRST PLACE
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SECOND PLACE
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Well, I’m sorry young man, when/if you are hired at this company your head needs to reach to the top of this chair (as mine did) so when you are the hiring manager 35 years from now your applicants can still see your head as you see mine today.
Z,z,z,z,z! Sir are you awake? Another case of HRlepsy!
Hmm….Benefits? Well, if you work here long enough, someday you might get an enormous chair like this one!
-Brooke M.
peaceandpaws at yahoo dot com
No more unemployment money… I got to go to work
No, son, it’s not a lazy boy, it’s a busy man; a new line in office furniture that makes you look and feel larger than life.
Employee thinking: As if him being my boss wasn’t belittling enough–he had to have me sit in the smallest chair possible to give me the bad news that I’m being laid off. 🙁
“Now I see here that you were a Baccalaureate Scholar of Philosophy at Princeton, and you went on to earn your MBA at Harvard Business School. But if you want to be our building super, can you show me how to mount your framed certificate on the wall?”
Why yes, I am looking for a giant to fill this seat.
Boss : So how long can you last.
Applicant : If defends sir on how long can you stay.
Are you sure you meet all 206 skills.
“I remember my first interview when i sat in a tiny chair in front of the CEO of McDonalds… hahaha… Marvalous isn’t it?”
Yes dad I do still want the big chair
Tell me, Rodríguez: according to balance of this month, do we have enough money for buying a bigger chair? My ego needs one.
been looking for job so long what is money when u hav e nomore but need a job to eat and survive
You know, my dear boy, I once had big dreams like you do today. Those big dreams turned me into a big man, who now sits upon a big chair. Your whole life lis within your dreams. Here, size really does matter.
Read me a story, Williams.
You know what they say about a man with a big chair….he must be overcompensating for something!
can you say “little man’s complex”?
I won this seat in a game of musical chairs.
So, tell me -what are your job expectations , Son ?
I aspire to one day fit in your chair, sir!
Don’t give that sob stories you’ve been looking for a job and until you’ve never been hired…to tell you the truth I’ve been looking too for the right man and couldn’t find one too.
(Boss) Yes, I Was Looking For The Smallest Curriculum Vitae Ever, And It’s Perfect! You’re In!
Yes, I know the economy is bad but sir, I have court papers here that require I repossess your executive chair and desk.
Big Boss: So, what can I help you with today Mr. Randall?
Mr. Randall: Actually, I’d like to try on your chair for size…”
Oh, I thought you would be a woman. I brought out my biggest furniture for nothing.
Yep, my job is pretty much to just sit here and look like a boss…any more questions?
“I’m a weekend picker.”
“Thrift sale -just outside of London.”
Well, Sir…. Objects really do appear closer than they are with these new glasses.
“You see Mr. Johnson, we have to cut back. Only the basics.”
Do you always go to job interviews with you own chair and desk?
I just need to sit very still… his vision is based on movement. After a while, he’ll just forget about the performance evaluation.
There is a reason you feel inferior to me! I am bigger than life!
“How much did it cost? We got it at a garage sale. But the medical bill when we dropped it on the chief executive’s foot? That was a doosie.”
1. Look, we only give loans to people that don’t need them.
2. It’s not what I can do for you, but what I want you to do for me.
3. We started our careers together. Today, I’m firing you.
4. I read your resume. I suggest you get someone else to write it for you.
No Pressure. Except maybe the pressure on your hips from that tiny chair you have to sit in.
No pressure. Except maybe the pressure on your hips from that tiny chair you have to sit in.
Are you jealous my chair is bigger than yours?
Hey dad….. are you hiring?
“I am sorry leanard, the money just isn’t in the budget for increased wages.”
“If you think this throne is large, you should see my toilet.”
Um…Weren’t you fired last month for impersonating the boss?
Um…Weren’t you fired last month for impersonating the boss?
Little chair syndrome. Executive showing his authority and power over little chair guy.
They’re clearing this office out Monday, which is why I don’t have my name at my desk…But, I digress, back to your interview.
I’m sorry, we just do not have enough funding for future employees.
“My wife doesn’t let me pick the furniture at home. But here, it I get free reign.”
Isn’t this desk just beautiful? I’m forced to delegate all of my work because I don’t want it to look cluttered.
“That’s why I wanted a big chair so it wouldn’t be very obvious that I am gaining weight as I get older!”
Oh sorry about that.. did I say “fire”….I meant to say why would we “hire” you Mr. Jones?
Little Man syndrome is not a issue with us. It’s one of our job requirements.
It’s just a temporary position. You’ll be the Royal food taster. There’s also some general court jestering, but that’s all covered in our Corporate policies and procedure book.
I started in the mail room and then one day I pulled a sword from a stone, next thing I’m behind this desk. So you see, the American dream is not dead.
For this next part of the interview you have 60 seconds to yell out as many buzzwords as you can. Ready, go…
Let me explain. The desk and chair is Conglomatron. He’s just one of the many autobots you’ll be working for.
We have revised our budget for acquiring new chairs for the department; however, we do not have enough funds for this request at the moment. The funds were spent on more vital necessities.
Does this chair make me look fat?
employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but the steroids were meant for you!”
And for the final question on the interview………… If you could be any superhero, who would it be, and why?
I’m only working here part-time until I can pursue my real dream job……….FAST FOOD.
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
“First things first, wipe that smile on your face. Good. Now proceed”
I’m not wearing any pants! Now that being said lets get on with the interview.
Now what makes you qualified to one day sit in this chair?
Is that your resume, or your walking papers?
As part of your interview, I would like you to spell Supercalifragalist..list..list…oh, spell cat 5 times wothout thinking!
If you don’t think I fit this job, I feel you don’t fit that chair.
“Always remember this, Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
1st guy: That’s a mighty big chair ya have.
2nd guy: That’s a mighty small chair ya have.
Man in big chair: Are you comfortable in that chair ya sittin in?
Man in small chair: Um, not really?
Man in big chair: Get out!
Well…. I have heard you have a big idea…. please go ahead
I do not care if you have a note from Mom – you are late for work.
No matter how close you sit to me, my big desk and chair make me feel safe.
Q. Does one mention the earpiece missing from the interviewer’s glasses or does one refrain?
A: Only if the job is in optometry or if you discovered the missing piece in the parking lot.
As a matter of fact, I do own a monocle, a top hat, a luxury liner, a scotty dog, a fancy car, and a string of hotels. Why do you ask?
Members of the janitorial staff play dress-up at night. Deal with it.
“Next question. I’m thinking of a number between one and fifteen…”
After an hour and a half, Eric finally arrives at every interviewee’s most dreaded question, “Is this a real or fake mustache?”
Eric hated the Fart or Leather Chair Noise game.
“…And finally, upon my death, I leave the loose change in the crack of my chair to the Democratic Party. Heh.”
Does this chair make my desk look fat?
you better not let your wife catch you sitting in her chair playing monopoly again. you do remember what she did to your dog.
My word! You’re not Ms. Maguire!
I hear you’ve been talking in non sequiturs Smith. What do you have to say for yourself?